Parenting in the Pews

by Robbie Castleman

The following notes are a summary of the above book. We recommend that every Parish should have a copy in their library. It is certainly worth discussion.
Don’t go to church. Go to worship

Worship begins in the heart of the believer.

Children are willing to believe- their hearts have a great capacity for worship.

Children belong: Jesus put a child in the centre of the disciples (Matt 18:1-5)

Children remind us of how we should respond eg. when we first understand Jesus’ sacrifice for our sin.

Sunday morning starts on Saturday night.

Preparations include choosing clothes, preparing tithes and planning a simple meal for Sunday.

Train children to pay attention to what is happening.

Be WITH your children.

Music is a great way to praise and worship – easy for parents to use.

Confession: something remembered.  Prayer: in own words.  Be honest about it, even when “no” is the answer.

Smaller children imitate what they see.  Parents need to teach the meaning and practice of traditions in church services.

Teen years are a time to step back and evaluate why they are doing what they are.  It’s a great time for parents to share stories of faith AND failure as they experience doubt and questions. (eg. David’s Psalms10,13,40,142)

Provide times of silence – to listen to God.

Talk about the sermon afterwards and ask questions – incentives may help.

Don’t provide games, pads, puzzles.  Children should be trained in worship.

Young people like to be challenged eg. to listen to the sermon.  Parents need to expect more from their children in church.

The best preparation for the sacraments is appreciation.  It’s good for children to wait.  Familiarity in receiving communion may dull appreciation for what should be special.

When children are able to give their own testimony of faith in front of the whole congregation then they are old enough to participate in Holy Communion.

Innocent enthusiastic desire is not a proper indicator of spiritual readiness for entering into Holy Communion.

The price of the sacred meal was very high (for Jesus).

Taking communion seriously may mean not taking it. This is an example for children of the seriousness of sin.

God must be real in our experience of faith – not just fulfilling social and religious expectations.

“In the presence of our Father, my children have become by brothers”.